Rebirth
by Chuui
Summary: Roy and Riza had survived so much in the past, all they wanted now was not to waste the precious moments they had together from this moment onward. Unfortunately, things never did go as planned as things take a turn for the worse as Roy tries to put his life back together after his happiness is taken away from him again.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

Sometimes she wondered if she deserved this happy ending.

She was alive. He was alive. They were both alive, together. He held her in his arms as he slept beside her. She simply watched him sleep, softly breathing in and out. Perfect, she decided. He was perfect. She didn't care what he thought about himself, what he thought he deserved, in her mind he was perfect. She could accept everything they had done, everything they had been through, and just simply enjoy moments like this. He loved her, he told her this the night before they ended up in her bed, tangled in each other. She couldn't recall any other moment in her life where she had been so happy, to be with him, and not hiding what they truly felt about each other. She couldn't imagine any life without him; in fact, she wouldn't even have a life without him. That's why the serenity of this morning after scene caressed her soul with a sense of warmth, that this was what she wanted to wake up to for the rest of her life.

He turned and his arms pulled her closer to him as his head snuggled into her chest. She smiled, it seemed as though she wouldn't be going anywhere just as yet. She didn't mind though, sometimes she wished they could just lie in bed together all day. Alas, they had work to do. The rebuild in Ishval was well underway and the only time they could actually relax were these nights that they shared together. Buildings were being erected and jobs were being created, the misplaced Ishvalans were slowly returning back to their homeland ready to start a new life on the earth where their old ones ended, rid of all the destruction that happened many years prior. Atoning for all the lives she took here in Ishval, she would never forgive herself but this was at least a start. She knew Roy was in no mood to get up but she decided they had to rise now and start another day of work.

"Roy, Roy, wake up." She said sternly while giving his shoulder a bit of a shake.

He then groaned before muttering something that sounded like "Rizafivemoreminutesplease".

"Roy, you need to get up now-"She was cut off by Roy pulling her up on top of him as he kissed her.

"Good morning to you too." He said with a smirk on his face.

"I was serious Roy, it's past seven and we need to be at the headquarters by eight." She said trying to ignore the kisses he was peppering down her neck.

"Fine fine, I'm getting up, but since we're so late we should shower together, halve the time we take." There was that lopsided smirk again, she was surprised his face wasn't stuck like that from the amount of times he flashed that grin at her.

"Roy, do you really expect me to trust you not to try anything in the shower, because if that's the case it's going to end up taking double the time anyways."

"Don't worry; I'm sure I can accomplish everything I want to do before we have to leave..." His eyebrow rose at his own statement.

She gave in and walked to the bathroom, Roy following behind her like a loyal canine.

* * *

She had her uniform on and her hair up in the usual updo and was eating breakfast when Roy came waltzing back into her room.

"Roy, I thought you said you were leaving to get dressed and head out."

"And miss eating Breakfast with you? I'd think not."

Roy had planned their lodgings is Ishval carefully, they were the only people on the top floor of the military housing and their rooms were right next to each other. This left only one wall separating them, in which Roy alchemized a door so that they had adjoining rooms and could freely walk between each other's spaces without raising a lot of questions. They were still being secretive about their relationship since the fraternization laws still applied, but they knew that if someone did decide to report them, even if it went straight to Fuhrer Grumman nothing would happen. In fact he'd probably be pleased and encourage the behaviour even more. They were mostly still keeping it under wraps for themselves.

They were still new to being so intimate with each other after all these years of having a strictly professional relationship. They always had feelings for each other, she knew that, but they never thought them actually being together would ever be a possibility. After almost losing each other so many times they realized life was too short and decided to come clean and start embracing these feelings for whatever time they had left, since there were no more real obstacles standing in the way. They casually avoided the subject of ever making anything official though. It's not like she never thought about it, getting married and having a family of her own. The relationship they had seemed well beyond that it was almost silly to even consider it, what would a legal document change about their relationship, it was already as official as it could be. Roy was the type to like these types of things; she was surprised he hadn't brought it up yet. They were both just living in the moment and enjoying each other's company for now she guessed, not wanting to ruin the moment with such serious questions about the future.

As for kids, she decided a while ago that she would probably never have any. It was kind of sad to admit but she wouldn't have any time for children if Roy was to continue his journey to become Fuhrer, and she was going to be by his side protecting him the entire time. By the time Roy did reach the top she would probably have missed her chance at having children. It wouldn't matter in the end is what she always told herself, and as long as she had Roy she would be content.

"Riza, you okay?" Roy disrupted her thoughts and brought her back to the real world.

"Yeah I'm fine I was just... thinking about something."

Roy knew she didn't want to be questioned further and decided to leave it at that and continued eating his breakfast in silence.

* * *

They both arrived at Ishval headquarters just in time to meet Scar and Miles for the day's debriefing on what had to be done and reviewed.

"General Mustang sir, you have orders from central." A soldier appeared behind them and said firmly.

"And what would those orders be?" Roy questioned.

"You are to meet with Fuhrer Grumman in central as soon as possible, sir."

He glanced over at Riza to see her looking as confused as he did. "What would this meeting be about and why so suddenly?"

"He just said it was extremely urgent that you see him now and has already arranged for your train ticket for this afternoon, sir."

He put a hand on his forehead and groaned, "I guess if their orders from the Fuhrer himself I'll have to comply, he better not be lonely and just want to play a game of chess, I'm actually pretty busy up here."

"With all due respect sir, I'm sure there is something important that has come up if he's calling you to Central now of all times." Riza interjected.

"Your train will be leaving at exactly 1400 hours, sir." The soldier had held his salute the entire time and you could see his hand start to shake.

Roy must've noticed and finally ordered him to leave before groaning once again.

"Guess that's that. He didn't say anything about more than one ticket so it looks like you'll be staying here in my place, sure you'll be okay?"

"Sir, contrary to what most believe I am not entirely dependent on you and I'm perfectly capable of handling things on my own."

"Actually, I was just wondering if you would miss me." He arched a playful eyebrow at her. "Besides, everyone knows not to mess with the Hawk's Eye."

She couldn't help but let a small smile crawl onto her face, "It's not like I'll never see you again sir, and you'll probably be on a train back here in two days. I believe I'm the one who should be worried for your safety, after all you always need someone to be watching your back."

"I think the flame alchemist can handle himself for two days, but I'm guessing that's a yes then."

She shot him a questioning look.

"You will miss me."

She refused to meet his eyes as she turned to walk away.

"I'd suggest you start packing if you're to catch that train this afternoon, General."

He smiled to himself and threw her a salute "As you say, Captain."

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry if this was bit of a slow start but don't worry, things will start picking up soon! I have this story all planned out so It's looking at about 30-ish chapters. Hopefully I can keep up! I'm not going to say how often I'm updating this but hopefully I don't fall into a rut of not writing for too long.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

"Are you up for a game of chess General?"

Roy sat in Fuhrer Grumman's office waiting for him to deliver the critical news, but he found himself sorely disappointed when he saw how relaxed Grumman looked as he walked into the office.

"Fuhrer sir, I hope you didn't have me come all the way out here during the final stages of the restoration just so you could rack up your wins against me." Roy was starting to doubt the importance of this meeting.

"Ah! Eager as always my boy, in that case I'll get right to the point of why I called you here. It's about Captain Hawkeye actually, and your relationship with her."

He tried to keep a straight face but failed. Did Grumman know about their secret relationship? "Um, I don't know what you're talking about sir; our relationship is strictly professional..."

"Relax my boy! You're not in trouble, not by any means. I just have to make sure; you love her, don't you?"

At this Roy simply stared at the man for asking such an intimate question so abruptly.

"I-"Roy stammered.

"Ha! Sorry for asking such a silly question, I'm pretty sure everyone in eastern command is aware of the answer to that one. That brings me to my next order of business." Grumman opened his desk drawer and slid a piece of paper across the desk so Roy could see it.

"What's this?" Roy asked.

"It's a permission form of sorts came up with it myself. Go ahead take a look."

Roy scanned the words of the paper and was stunned at what he read. "Fuhrer, are you even allowed to do this?"

"I can do anything I want, and yes the form is one hundred percent authentic. It's kind of an exclusion form, all you need to do is sign it, and get Captain Hawkeye's signature and you will be legally exempt from the fraternization rules."

"I... Hawkeye? Does that mean..." Roy couldn't find the right words.

"Yes, you can get married, and have a public relationship."

Roy was silent.

So many thoughts were swirling around in his head. The barrier between them for all these years was finally broken and it was... not as liberating as he hoped. The thought of making it official didn't sit right with him at all; his innermost thought were starting to crawl back out of the hole in the back of his brain that he thought he had sealed forever after the promised day, after he decided he should live the rest of his life in prosperity regardless of his past, for what they had could be cut short at any moment. He imagined himself married, to the women he loved so much, the sheer joy was overwhelming and he couldn't face it.

He wasn't worthy of that kind of happiness.

"Sir..." He slowly slid the paper back across the table. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to... decline."

"And why is that?" Grumman kept a straight face, as if he knew this was coming.

"I... she doesn't deserve someone like me. I'm truly a monster for the things I've done in the past. She can do better that be with me for the rest of her life."

"You're being really selfish my boy, I hope you realize that."

At that statement Roy was taken back quite a bit. He continued before he had the chance to reply.

"You're not thinking about what my granddaughter wants when you say things like that. You may think that you don't deserve to be with her but she loves you. She knows you have blood on your hands, she knows about all the details of your past, and yet she still loves you. I know for a fact that she will never be with anyone else but you, so even if you can never be happy with yourself please don't make Riza suffer the same faith."

"I never meant to make her unhappy. It's just..."

"It's just you. You need to stop wallowing in a hole of despair you're entire life. The past is the past, there's nothing you can do to change it. _Please_, don't screw up the future too."

Grumman's words hit Roy at full speed, knocking his thoughts into a place they had never been. He was right, _damn it_ he was right. This whole time he was determined he should be the most miserable man alive because he didn't deserve to be happy, except Riza told him they shouldn't waste away their lives because of the past. They both had blood on their hands, they both did terrible things. If they didn't do terrible things in the past, they wouldn't even be here to remember such things. He always had a dream for a future where everyone was happy, why couldn't that include him?

He valued Riza's happiness well above his own, a truth that will reign forever.

Grumman noticed Roy lost in thought and decided to speak up, trying to dampen the harshness of his last statement. "Besides, you want to be Fuhrer someday right? In that case you're going to need a wife! The people don't trust a man to make a commitment to the country if he can't even keep a commitment to a significant other."

Roy finally let a half smirk slip onto his face. "Hey, I don't see you with a woman by your side yet you're on top of the country."

"Hey! I'm a widower, that's completely different. Anyways, are you going to sign this thing or not?" Grumman had already slid the paper back across the table and was holding out a pen.

Roy took the pen a scribbled his signature across the bottom, feeling as though a huge weight had just been lifted off his shoulders.

"Excellent! I can't wait to meet my great grandchildren!"

"Hey hey, we aren't even married yet, who said we're even going to be having children? We're high ranking military officers; we don't have time for children."

"Didn't you even read the form before you signed it boy? Section four states that in order for the agreements to be applicable you must have some offspring."

"What?!" Roy grabbed the form off the table and started reading through all the fine print at an alarming speed.

"Ha! Relax boy that was a joke, but please don't write off the idea so quickly. I won't be around forever and I would love some children to tell all my old military stories to."

Roy calmed down after almost tearing two holes through the sheet where his fingers were gripping too hard. "I'll keep that in mind sir, but don't get your hopes up." In all honestly he wanted children as well, a blend of him and Riza looked so perfect in his mind, but it seemed like an unreasonable dream considering what their jobs required.

"I guess you'll be heading right back to Ishval now."

He would be, now all he wanted to do was get back to Riza to tell her the good news, except...

"I'm actually going to stop by the jewelers first, I can't properly propose without a ring can I?"

"Atta boy! You have a bunch of cenz saved up don't you? I hope you buy the biggest rock they have."

"I'm pretty sure the Captain will kill me if I blew all my savings on a ring for her." Roy finally let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, completely at peace with his decision in the end.

Roy threw Grumman a salute before exiting his office with more of a bounce in his step and a smile that he just couldn't keep off his face.

* * *

Roy kept patting his inner pocket where the small velvet box he had just purchased now rested. The train ride to Ishval felt so excruciatingly long when he was this excited. Picking out the perfect ring had taken a bit longer than expected and he missed the train he originally wanted to go back on in favour of a later one. Now he was just trying to figure out how he was going to ask her, was he going to go with tradition and get down on one knee or perhaps a cleverly timed sentence where he admits he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and then whips out the ring? Was he going to do it in public? No, Riza would probably prefer something more secluded...

His thoughts were interrupted by one of the train staff knocking on his cabin door.

"General! There's an urgent phone call for you on line one! "

It seems as though the urgent phone calls were just following him around at this point.

He picked up the phone to hear an extremely distressed Havoc on the other side.

"General Mustang here, what's going on over there?"

"Bad news sir, headquarters was attacked by some Ishvalan rebels, they tried also tried to take down the factory that you're having built. It was quite the ruckus and we have quite a number of soldiers who were injured in the clash, no casualties though."

"Of course! As soon as I leave they decide to attack. Were you able to track them down?"

"Yes sir, actually we have captured all of those involved so everything seems to be under control at the moment."

"If everything is okay now why did you need to speak to me so urgently?!"

"Sir, please remember we're doing everything we can right now to help the situation and I just want you to remain calm for what I'm about to tell you."

Roy knew that tone of Havoc's voice. Something was wrong, very wrong, far beyond the attack, the damages, and the injured soldiers. Roy took a deep breath and tried to speak calmly but it ended up sounding more menacing than he intended.

"Havoc, tell me what the problem is, _now_."

Havoc breathed heavily into the receiver, he could hear him. In. Out.

"Captain Hawkeye is missing."

* * *

**A/N: This story will be alternating back and forth between Roy and Riza's POV's, so the next chapter will start from Riza's POV right before the attack on headquarters, just so that's clear. Also, I'm sorry if you thought this was going to be fluffy and happy, where's the fun in that?  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

You never realized how much you miss something until it's gone.

All these years, Riza had slept by herself, but as soon as she started sleeping with Roy she didn't want to sleep alone ever again. There was always his warmth to cling to on the other side of the bed and it just felt awful reaching out and feeling the emptiness when there should be someone there to hold.

She didn't usually have trouble sleeping except for the occasional night terrors she experienced but tonight just felt off. He could read her like a book; she missed him, _a lot_. Perhaps she should've bought herself some tickets and went to Central with him, I mean how much could they both miss in two days? No, she has to make sure nothing goes wrong here, those were the orders. Why is this bed so chilly though? This was a desert, I thought it was always supposed to be warm, but the nights here were almost unbearably cold. Roy was coming back soon, right? She could just picture him getting off the train right now, she would make sure and show him exactly how much she missed him...

Her thoughts were interrupted by three loud knocks on her door.

"Captain Hawkeye! Wake up! We need you at headquarters now!"

She sprang out of bed and opened the door to find a very serious looking soldier.

"What happened?!"

"Captain, we have little time to chat. Headquarters has been attacked and we don't have enough people there to hold them off, we need you're assistance right away."

"Okay, let me just get ready and I'll come." She started to walk back into her house.

"There's no time! We need you to come before things really get really messy, you're the best we have on security detail."

She understood that the situation was dire and even though she felt a bit silly she just grabbed her belt with two guns and strapped it over her pyjamas and bolted out the door. She was sure if she needed anything else they would have some supplies down at headquarters.

* * *

The place was literally a mess. The night guards had done all they could but the perpetrators seemed to have the upper hand still, everyone was scrambling around trying to relay orders or receive orders as half the people on base wandered in half asleep. They really had to attack in the middle of the night? Actually that was pretty smart of them, attack while we're the least prepared.

As soon as she got there she met up with Havoc and Breda who were trying to distribute soldiers as best they could to hold the rebels back.

"Hawkeye!" Havoc called out to her. "Glad you could make it—nice pyjamas."

"Havoc this _really_ isn't the time. How did you have time to get dressed and down here before me anyways?"

"I live in the regular housing, not on the very top floor secluded from everyone but you're superior officer with whom you say everything is strictly professional but everyone else finds it really hard to believe." At this Riza simply scoffed. "Seriously though, you were probably the last to be notified, these guys have been here causing a wreck for almost an hour."

"Any idea who these guys are? Please don't tell me it's more of the rebels."

"Nope, it's them alright. When will they understand that we're here trying to help them? I guess there's always a few that aren't able to forgive." More gunshots could be heard, they were starting to get inside.

"I need you two to focus all the ground soldiers on getting them rounded up, please make sure that there are no fatal shots, just try to handicap them if you can. I'm going to be heading to the roof to if I can pick some off from up there; we have to make sure they don't get any farther inside. Understood?"

"Yes sir!" Breda and Havoc said simultaneously, before they all split off to work on their given tasks.

* * *

She scanned the area around the base through her scope one last time, once everyone got here and orders had been relayed rounding up all the Ishvalans attacking wasn't too hard of a task. Most of them were now being sent to the medical tents to be treated for their wounds. They would all be held there until they spoke up about their motives, and if they refused to come to peace after that they will be sent to a prison in East city. Mustang was very adamant on trying to keep a good relationship with the Ishvalans now that they were trying to regain their trust, unfortunately you can't have everyone on your side.

It was then she noticed out of the corner of her sight, one of the rebels, she wasn't sure how he escaped them thus far. There was something in his hand it looked like... a grenade.

She ran back down in the main hub of the building and started yelling for everyone to get away from the east side of the building. It was pandemonium yet again as officers scrambled out of the east side when she heard the loud bang of the explosives going off. Nobody had been where the explosion originated from but there were some that didn't make it out quickly enough to escape the flames.

"Quickly! Get the doctors over the east side immediately, I don't think he had anything else on him, I'm going after him."

"Wait, Hawkeye! It's still dangerous out there—"Breda yelled as he ran down the hallway after her.

"We can't let him get away!" And with that she left him behind as she ran off to into the cool desert night.

* * *

She decided the sniper rifle she got from headquarters wouldn't be any good in a chase so she decided to drop that off and depend on the two guns strapped to her torso instead. She ran past the flames into the darkness of the desert after the black shadow escaping into the midnight.

"Stop!" She yelled. He was pretty fast but she was able to keep up with him. She fired off a warning shot hopeful that he'd just turn himself in to avoid injury; instead he made a sharp turn into a forested area.

They must've been near the edge of where Ishvalan lands ended and it lead into a grassier areas such as Resembool. She followed right behind him but seemed to lose him amidst the trees. She cursed to herself; she couldn't let him get away, that when she heard his voice.

"Filthy military scum! You've got some stamina if you were able to follow me all the way out here."

She didn't realize how hard she was breathing or how far she had just run. "Show yourself!" She pointed her gun towards where she thought the voice was coming from.

"Relax miss, I mean no harm to a pretty lady like you. Just put the gun down and we can be friends."

"I said, show yourself!" She clicked the safety off her gun and was about to shoot into the woods when someone shoved her hard from behind. Ignoring the pain she got up almost immediately onto one knee and shot in the direction the person had just appeared from. She heard him scream in pain as it became clear she had clipped his midsection with her bullet.

"Damn you! I gave you a chance to be friendly..." Hr grabbed her collar with one arm and grabbed her wrist and twisted with the other, making her drop her gun. He made sure he held her down so she wouldn't be able to grab her other gun.

"Damn all of you guys, invading our territory again! There's no fixing what you did in the past, yet you refuse to leave us alone! We want nothing to do with you! Now we have no choice but to try and flush you guys out, and this time I'm confident we will come out on top."

At this point she was wriggling around in his grasp trying to get away that his hand slipped off her collar, and she was able to deliver a firm kick to his side and make a run for it. She reached for her other gun only to feel an empty holster.

"Looking for this miss? I'm sorry, you didn't think I'd let you keep this did you?" Blood was evenly pouring out of his wound, he probably would collapse from blood loss soon but he still had enough energy to point her gun at her. She started backing away slowly, close and closer to where the forest started clearing up, the trees getting scarcer.

Her foot took another step back, but there was no ground for it to land on. She took a second to peer behind her and realized she was staring down the ledge of a steep cliff, nowhere left to run.

"I'm sorry, but looks like you're time here is up." He pointed the gun, and fired the shot.

Weighing her options for a split second, she jumped out of the way of the bullet, over the cliff.

As she fell she wondered if she should have just taken the bullet, it would have been an appropriate way for her to go, after all of the lives she ended with them herself. She just couldn't stay in the way, she had to do something; it seemed silly to her now that this was what she thought was the better option. She was going to die as soon as she hit the ground, if she didn't hit one of the pointed rocks before that.

Just then she felt herself stop, all the air being pushed out of her lungs. What? She looked up see her belt had caught on one of the edges about half way down, stopping her completely. Now she was dangling off the side of the cliff, honestly not that much better than before. She saw a small ledge to the side, maybe if she could reach it with her good hand she would be able to climb up and call for help. She reached out as far as she could her fingertips almost making contact with the surface. Just a little bit more...

_Snap._

Her belt broke, and she continued to plummet to the bottom.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

It would have been an understatement to say that Roy was in a state of sorts.

A state in which he felt like the life was slowly draining out of him with each moment she was still missing.

As soon as he got off the train and was greeted by his subordinates, all he could say was, "Where is she? Did you find her?"

To this he received a couple of solemn nods.

"We're still looking chief, but I wouldn't worry, I'm sure Hawkeye can handle herself." Havoc bravely contributed.

"If she was handling herself fine, she wouldn't have been gone this long without any explanation."

The look on their faces relayed the fact that they did agree, but didn't want to say anything. Riza Hawkeye didn't just disappear without a trace.

"Damn it! I want every single soldier on this base out searching for her."

"Sir, I don't think we can really do that—"Breda tried to say.

"Listen, I don't care if I need to go get special permission from the Fuhrer himself, I'm giving you an order and you're going to listen. Understood?" He knew he had that look in his eyes, but he didn't care what people thought of his demeanor, with every second that passed the chances of finding her alive were dropping.

"Yes sir." Most of them scrambled off to start putting together more search parties but Havoc simply stared at him.

"Sir, please don't do anything reckless. We're going to find her alive, I promise."

"You promise? You're sure she's still alive? How in the hell did this even happen? Were you the one who let her run off on her own?

"As I said before, Hawkeye can handle herself and we didn't think anything could go wrong. The last thing she would want is you not being able to function without her, if we can't find her by the end of the night you'll have to go back to your post and continue you're job here in Ishval." Havoc was the only one other than Riza who could try to talk his emotions down.

"I can't just go on as if nothing happened! She was my bodyguard! My most valuable subordinate! My... we have to find her. I'll comb every inch of this desert myself if you guys want to give up so easily."

"Listen, I know exactly how you feel about her and I know this is tough, but you can't just abandon your post. We're still recovering from the attack last night and we need you here to lead the restoration. You need to focus on the task at hand; the search parties will do their job."

"And what if they can't find her?" Roy almost didn't want to hear the answer to that question.

"Sir, you have goals and I know Hawkeye would never forgive you if you abandoned them because of her. If they can't find her you have to move forward."

Roy was furious, clenching his fist so tightly he almost popped a vein. He couldn't fathom a future without her, he had goals yes but they all meant nothing to him without her by his side. To just lose her to the unknown like this was not what he imagined. He finally accepted a future where they both live in contentment and this was what he was rewarded with.

If there was a sign he really didn't deserve to be happy this was it.

"I'm going to look for her, don't you dare stop me until the morning. If we haven't found her by then I'll return to my post, but trust me, we're going to find her."

He didn't even have faith in his own words.

* * *

It was three hours before dawn when they found the body.

One of her guns lay on the forest floor and the other one rested atop the right hand of the man they had found. He died from blood loss, a gunshot wound on his side deep enough he didn't have a chance. He was an Ishvalan, likely a rebel who would never be identified, a castaway from a nearby Ishvalan camp. The details weren't that important, all Roy knew was that this was the last man to see Riza Hawkeye alive and they would not be getting any kind of information out of him. Yet another setback he couldn't properly comprehend.

All of this was a dream, he told himself. They now had her at the edge of a cliff, a man with a gun in his hand, and chances were looking slim that she was even alive. They had sent a crew down to investigate the bottom of the cliff; in fact the words he heard them say were along the lines of _retrieving the body. _It wasn't a premature statement, where else could she have gone but down that cliff? He'd peered over the edge, if she had fallen right down to the bottom there was no way she would have survived. If she had hit one of the jagged edges on the way down there was no way she would have survived. If she had not gone over the cliff the man would have shot her, and there was no way she would have survived.

He reprimanded his thoughts, this was not a dream. This was a nightmare. The worst nightmare he had ever had, and that was saying a lot. This was the worst one because it was true. He had left for two days, came back ready to start a life with her and now she was gone. His shadow always hovering two steps behind him was gone. To lose your shadow is to lose your being, to cease to exist. If you don't cast a shadow you are nothing, which was exactly how he felt without her. His knees hit the ground as his palms followed soon after. He simply stared at the earth, unable to process everything that was going through his mind.

"General? General! Are you okay?"

He felt the pain subsiding, his body surrendering the numbness crawling up his skin.

"General Mustang! Answer me now!"

He was almost thankful that he could no longer feel a thing; the agony would have been too much to handle.

"Someone help! Something is wrong with him!"

His soul had departed from his body.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews you guys! The more I get the more motivation I have to get these up, so keep them coming!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

The last thing she remembered was falling. She hit the ground and the world went black.

She was sure this was hell.

Heaven probably felt like freedom, a place where those who have lived graciously can be eternally blessed. She knew it was a place she would never get to see, the things she had done would always be attached to her being and this was what she deserved. The darkness surrounded her, there was nothing here. It chilled her to the bone; you would think that it could be much worse than this, just left completely alone in darkness, nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide, abandoned for the rest of eternity. If this was what she deserved then she would accept it. Sitting in solitude her thoughts kept flashing back to Roy, how she was dedicated to his dream, how she promised to follow him into hell. It was unfortunate really; she had made it here prematurely. She hoped with all her heart that he wouldn't lose sight of his dreams and follow her soon after.

It was then all her emotions hit her at once. She was gone, he was gone. Everybody was gone. This was truly the end of the road; there was nothing left for her. She hadn't fulfilled her purpose in life yet, all she wanted was to see Roy reach his goal and she had failed. She had been careless and it ultimately lead to her demise. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it didn't matter anymore. There was nobody there to see her moment of weakness; she could just let it all out. It couldn't just end like this, she couldn't accept it. All she wanted was a second chance.

As if someone had heard her pleas, she saw the light.

She knew what to do, she ran. The light covering more and more of the darkness as she got closer, she reached her arms out, the warmth engulfing her whole.

Her life was renewed.

* * *

The first feeling that registered in her mind was pain. Her head throbbed immensely and she felt like she was just going to pass out again as soon as she woke up. Even though her head was the epicentre of pain, her entire body ached and she hadn't the will to even try to move. Her eyes creaked open just a bit just to be blinded by the sudden brightness of the real world. There was a lot of bustling around her; she could make out various voices.

"Why did you bring an Amestrian woman here?" A man shouted.

"She was unconscious at the bottom of a cliff and bleeding from her head, still barely breathing. We couldn't have just left her there. She was moment away from death and if we hadn't saved her she would be gone." A lady replied.

"Don't you understand that the only Amestrians out here right now are in the military? This woman could be one of them, waiting to rat us out as soon as she wakes up. If there is one thing I will not stand for is falling into another trap set up by these damned Amestrians." The rage in his voice was crystal clear.

"Don't be ridiculous! This woman is not wearing a military uniform nor is she carrying any weapons. I'll be honest I'm not sure where she came from but do you really think we have a trained killer on our hands?" The lady didn't need to raise her voice to talk back with the same amount of malice the man had in his.

"Brina, Brina! Is the lady going to be alright?" A voice of a young girl entered the scene.

"Amerie, how many times have I told you that you can't come in here while I'm working?" The lady suddenly distracted from the heated conversation she was having.

"I know, I know, but Nana wanted me to go check on her! I swear."

"Well, you can go tell your Nana that she's going to be a little worse for wear, but she will pull through."

"Oh thank goodness! I was so worried! I mean, Nana was really more worried than me but I was also worried BUT not as much as Nana..."

"Okay Amerie I understand, now can you please leave? I was in the middle of an important conversation."

"I'm really sorry! I'm leaving right now! See, look I'm walking away, tell me when she wakes up! I want to talk to her!"

"Alright alright, just go!" The lady replied in an exasperated voice.

"Tch, girl needs to mind her own business. Back to the matter at hand, when she wakes up we're going to get all of our answers. If she has any relation to the military whatsoever I will make sure to give her what she deserves, understood?" The man continued from before.

"All she deserves right now is some much needed rest. I'd prefer you leave now and cause a ruckus elsewhere."

"Fine, I'll leave, but your level of disobedience lately is not something that will go unpunished either. I have better things to do than suffer the consequences of your righteous actions. Please notify me when she wakes up and is able to talk properly." With that she heard the whooshing of the tent door opening and closing once more.

It was then the lady noticed her eyelids twitching, slowly adjust to the brightness of the sun shining through the top of the tent she laid in.

"Miss, you're awake! Can you hear me? Can you answer me?"

"Yes." She was able to croak out.

"Oh goodness, listen you're going to make it. My name is Sabrina; I'm here to help you. Just don't try and move, you suffered some quite serious head trauma and twisted you're wrist. You also have a bunch of bruises all over your body. Did you fall off the cliff?"

The moisture was slowly returning to the inside of her mouth and her words began to come out clearer. "I'm not sure." She replied.

"That's okay! Do you know what you're doing out here on the outskirts of the desert? You seem to be wearing only your pyjamas. Were you lost?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure."

Sabrina's expression had shifted from excitement to solemnity. "I understand. One more question, what's your name?"

"... I don't know."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

Roy awoke to the bright lights and the familiar clean scent of a hospital room. He shut his eyes tight and opened them again to make sure he was fully awake and the past day had not been a part of some intricate nightmare designed to scar him for life.

No, everything was all too real.

"Guys, he's awake!" He was surprised to hear Fuery's voice, it seemed as though he had been waiting there for him to wake up since he got there.

"Colonel, are you okay? The doctor said you passed out due to shock." Fuery asked.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." His voice sounded much weaker than he intended. He wasn't supposed to let his vulnerability show, but he was lying helpless in a hospital bed. This was as close as he's been to rock bottom in a very long time.

"Boss!" Havoc and Breda filed into the room.

He directed his gaze at Havoc and gave him a calm yet eerie smile.

"It's morning now, isn't it?" Roy asked.

"Yes sir." Havoc replied, visibly unnerved by the look on his face.

"She hasn't been found yet, has she?"

"No sir, the search parties will be returning to base soon." Havoc replied as coolly as he could.

Roy shut his eyes tight and opened them once more. He was still in his hospital room, Hawkeye was still missing, and they are not going to continue the search.

"Actually sir, we do have some good news." Breda offered.

If she hadn't been found yet he hardly believed there could be anything positive about this situation but he motioned for him to continue.

"The good news is actually the fact that she hasn't been found. The search parties scoured the bottom of that cliff and the area around it for hours, there was no sign of Hawkeye, dead or alive."

Roy pondered this for a moment. He was positive that she fell off the cliff to her death, but if her body was nowhere in the area then could it be possible that she somehow lived and managed to escape?

"Sir, you realize that this means there is a very good chance that she's alive, I mean it's not like someone can die and leave no trace of their body behind." Havoc added.

Roy cringed slightly, _he knew of a way, _he thought, but decided not to say anything in response regarding that. "Okay, let's say she is alive and managed to escape, why wouldn't she come back here immediately? If she could walk far enough that they can't find her she surely could've made it back to base."

"I wish I knew the answer to that one sir, but your guess is as good as mine. I've been asking around and nobody has any kind of information. The nearby towns have been checked as well and nobody has seen anything. "Breda delivered the unfortunate news with sadness in his voice.

Roy knew he wasn't the only one hurting not having Hawkeye around; all of his subordinates were visibly shaken by the whole situation. They weren't lying in a hospital bed right now but he knew they were trying to stay strong and not give up hope, not only for Hawkeye but for him as well. He knew he was a burden when he became caught up in his emotions; Hawkeye was the only one alive who could deal with him at time like this. She was there to bring his mind back down to Earth if he wandered to deep into the maze of regret and self-loathing. Now that she was gone he couldn't keep his emotions in check, thus why he was lying in this hospital bed in the first place.

"Umm sir, s-sorry to interrupt but do you happen to have spare keys to Hawkeye's quarters?" Fuery meekly said.

"I don't, but I should be able to get in anyways. What's the matter?" Roy questioned.

"It's just that, it's been almost a day and I'm sure Hayate hasn't been fed or walked or..."

"Oh, Hayate! I seriously didn't even think about that, I was so caught up in trying to find her that I forgot. I mean, she would probably kill me if anything happened to that dog of hers. Get me my uniform, we can go now."

"Um, sir, you actually haven't been cleared to leave yet." Havoc noted.

"Nonsense, nothing is wrong with me, besides I have to return to my post. The restoration is not going to complete itself." Roy started to get up.

"Alright sir, just answer me this. Are you sure you're one hundred percent okay to continue working?" Havoc gazed straight down into his soul as he posed the question.

Roy couldn't look him in eyes when he answered. "I'm fine, perfectly fine." He lied.

He was not fine at all.

* * *

Roy led Fuery into his quarters and through the door that connected it to Hawkeye's. He didn't care if Fuery knew about it; he was probably the last person to say anything.

Hayate was simply lying on the floor looking almost defeated but instantly leaped up when he heard movement in the dorm. His excited mood suddenly vanished when he realized it was not Hawkeye who was home.

Fuery kneeled and started scratching him behind the ear. "Hey there, are you hungry? You're going to have to deal with me for a while because Hawkeye's not here right now, alright? Let's get you something to eat."

Hayate was a smart dog; he seemed to completely understand Fuery's words, and the true meaning behind them. He let out a small whimper and slumped back onto the ground because he wouldn't be seeing his beloved master anytime soon. He even refused to eat when Fuery put down the food for him, and wouldn't move when he tried to tell him that he would have to stay with him.

"Hayate please, you need to come with me. We can't leave you here all alone." Fuery begged. He was just met with more whimpers.

Roy sympathized with the dog; Hayate was probably the only other being that truly understood what he was going through right now.

"Listen Fuery, I'll take care of him. It's alright. I'll make sure he eats and gets his walks, I've seen Hawkeye do everything a million times before."

"Are you sure? I really can take him. You have work to do, and you just got out of the hospital."

"It's okay. I don't think he's going to be moving anytime soon."

"I understand. Hayate is a smart dog so I'm sure it won't be difficult to care for him. I'm going to head back to my dorm now, please call me if anything happens."

"Understood." And with a salute Fuery was gone and he sat down on the floor next to Hayate.

Riza loved him, he knew this, but if there was any competition it was because of Hayate. At some times he was sure that she preferred the damned dog over him, but he realized it was Hayate who helped her through all the years that they couldn't be together. He and Hayate had a strictly professional relationship, if he were to describe it. He did love the dog for everything he did for Riza but he had never gone above and beyond to really get to know the little guy beyond his work as a military dog. He was extremely smart (as any dog trained by Riza Hawkeye would be) and Roy was sure that he understood human speech. When him and Riza first officially got together Hayate was almost jealous that she spent so much time with him, often getting up on the bed or constantly trying to keep Riza's attention but jumping up on her lap at inappropriate times, even though he had been trained not to and was always an obedient dog in the past. He did eventually get used to him though, when he realized how much he loved his master, and that he would never do anything to harm her in any way.

He glanced over at the broken dog beside him. "Listen Hayate, I miss her as well but you really have to eat something." He cautiously reached over to pat him; he had never bonded with the dog before this. He was just met with more whimpers of a canine obviously missing his owner.

It hurt him to see Hayate like this. He realized this must be what all his subordinates felt when they saw him lying in the hospital bed, someone who is usually overflowing with charisma completely defeated, all the energy drained out of them, hopeless. He knew that's why they all stayed strong for him, and that did help him move on, and he knew he couldn't continue to bother them any longer. He was a grown man, and he would have to learn to deal with all these emotions by himself. He realized why Riza must've loved that dog so much, he was a lot like him in the way he handled his emotions, and technically he was a dog of the military as well. Now he knew exactly what to do to help. He plastered a solemn smile on his face before turning back to talk to Hayate.

"Listen boy, you've got to stay strong. I'm sure Riza wouldn't want you starving yourself for her sake. Don't worry; I'm sure she will come back. She'd never leave you, understand?"

Hayate seemed to understand but still looked horribly depressed.

"How about this, I'll eat if you eat? We can eat together. We can walk together, and hang out until Riza comes back. I promise she will come back, you just have to trust me." Hayate seemed to understand the look in his eyes which glimmered with hope. Instead of eating Hayate nestled into Roy's chest, as a gesture to say that he understood. Less afraid, he put his arms around the dog and his fake smile turned into a genuine one.

He was glad he was able to say all those things; he knew those words were not only for Hayate but for himself as well. As long as he believed that she would come back he would be able to stay strong for those who needed him the most.

* * *

**A/N: Ahh, Sorry this took a little while to get out. This chapter was really short so I was trying to think of some more stuff to add. For any of you guys who have a tumblr account I post all my silly writing updates there, so if I haven't posted for a while I'll probably have the reason up there so feel free to follow me! The link is on my profile!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

Her mind had been wiped clean, the only memories she had were of the last ten minutes. She had no idea who she was, she had no idea where she was and she had no idea how she got there. All she knew was that she was terribly injured and could barely move.

"Everybody, we're moving now! Pack your things!" A loud yell came from outside. A man marched into the tent soon after. He had a skinny face covered in old scars on one side and he looked very angry.

"What's going on?" Sabrina immediately got up and asked.

"The bloody military, they've got a whole ton of people combing the area; we need to move out before they find us!" His gaze fixed onto her. "This is probably all her fault, I told you she's connected to them! The military is after her!" The man barked.

Sabrina spoke back "Listen Josei, this woman is suffering from amnesia, she can't recall any details of her life, she can't move and we have no proof that they are after her. If we're leaving I'm taking her to continue treatment, we can't just leave her here for the military to find. Who knows what they would do to her, you know they have evil intentions and I'm not willing to sacrifice any more lives under my watch."

"Why do you care so much for this Amestrian? You do realize she is of the people that tried to exterminate us many years ago. How do we know she's even telling the truth?"

"The look on her face is enough. She is completely lost, we should do everything we can to help her," Sabrina walked over to her bedside and looked her straight in the eye, the caring nurse facade completely gone, "you are not lying to me, right? The military has no reason to be after you, right?"

"It's true, I really can't remember anything. I don't want to be taken by the military; I really don't think I have anything to do with them. Just please, let me stay with you for a bit longer, I have nowhere else to go." Riza realized that she was completely lost, as of now these people were her only acquaintances, if they left her she didn't know what she would have done. Being taken by the military sounded like the last thing she wanted to happen to her. These people were nice enough to treat her, they couldn't be bad people.

"Alright," Sabrina walked back over to the man. "We're going to have to load her onto one of the carts to get her to the new campsite."

The man looked angry as ever, "Are you serious? We need that storage space for our supplies. We don't have room to house a person in place of them; we only have three carts to carry things in the first place."

"Listen, we're going to make room. Stop wasting time and gather the rest of the people, I'll take care of this woman so you don't need to worry about her. You can pretend we left her here, alright?"

Instead of responding he stormed angrily out of the tent.

Sabrina lowered herself back down next to her bedside. "I'm sorry about that, that's Josei. He's sort of the unofficial ruler of our little encampment. He can boss around anyone here except me."

Riza thought that was a bit strange, "Is he an older relative of yours?" she asked. He didn't look old enough to be a grandfather, but perhaps an uncle or a father. It was the only reason she could think of that he couldn't tell her what to do.

"Actually, he's my husband." Sabrina paid no attention to Riza's eyes widening for a split second in shock and added "Before you ask, we married when I was 16 and he was 35, it was not my decision."

"I see. I'm..." Riza wasn't sure how to respond.

"I'm sorry, that might have been too much information. Forget I said anything. I'm going to get some of the villagers to help me load you onto the cart so we can leave, just hang in there alright." With that she breezed out of the tent.

* * *

Riza had felt quite embarrassed and helpless being lifted out of the tent and onto the cart by four strangers. Nevertheless the moment had passed and now she watched the trees go by as they ventured deeper and deeper into the lush grasslands.

"Excuse me, Miss Blonde?" A small voice squeaked at her side.

"Amerie! How did you get up here? Shouldn't you be behind with your grandmother? You're not supposed to be up here!" Sabrina said, scaring Riza slightly as she hadn't realized when she had gotten on the cart with her.

"Nana is fine by herself. You promised you would tell me when she woke up so I could talk to her!"

"She is in no condition to talk right now, please don't bother her."

"Hey! I saw you talking to her perfectly fine earlier. At least tell me her name so I can stop calling her Miss Blonde."

"Listen, this woman is suffering from something called amnesia. She can't remember any details of her past, including her name."

The girl turned to Riza and stared at her for a moment. "Is that true Miss? You can't even remember your name?"

"I can't remember anything." Riza finally spoke to the girl.

The girl looked to be no older than ten years; she had bright red eyes and white hair that stopped right below her ears. She wore a white dress and faint scars were visible on her arms and legs.

"In that case, I'll help you remember! I'll just list off a bunch of names and you tell me which one you'd like me to call you!"

"Amerie stop badgering the poor lady and let her rest." Sabrina chided.

Outright ignoring Sabrina, she just continued "Margaret, Beth, Janice, Elizabeth, Susan..."

"W-wait..." Riza felt something, a memory trying to come back. One of the names resonated within her, she still couldn't remember the connection but she was sure this had to be her name. "Elizabeth. That was my name. I'm sure of it."

"Alright, from now on you are Miss Elizabeth!" Sabrina had given up on trying to end the conversation and decided to just let her be. "Oh, I haven't introduced myself yet. My name is Amerie, I live in this camp with my Nana. I was the one who found you by the cliff last night, it was really scary."

"I'm sorry I scared you." The girl seemed sweet enough. "I'm grateful that you saw me, I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

"Don't thank me; it was Sabrina who really saved you. She is such an amazing healer! She even treated my own wounds back when I was a baby; she probably saved my life as well. In fact, most of the villagers were saved by her." She held out her arms for her to get a closer look. "When I was a baby my arms and leg were caught in flames, they would've hit my entire body if my parents hadn't saved me..." The cheerful girl suddenly looked very sad. "Unfortunately, they didn't survive, my Nana was the one who was able to get me out and raise me since then."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to bring up memories like that." Riza felt awful, of course she wasn't even sure who her parents were and f they were alive or not, but she felt like she connected with the girl on some levels.

"It's alright! I was just a baby, I can hardly remember them. Plus, my Nana told me a whole bunch about them so it feels like they never left!"

A lot of people would benefit from this girl's optimism, Riza thought.

Amerie continued. "Sabrina had to deal with a lot of burns after the flames attacked us."

"What? The flames attacked you?" Riza questioned.

Sabrina finally spoke up again. "That's one way to put it. Almost ten years ago the Amestrian military had a goal to exterminate our entire race. All of those who travel with this camp are from a town on the outskirts of our old homeland. When the war started we didn't even know about the extermination until it was too late, we thought we could escape before they reached us but one day our entire town went up in flames. It seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. Many were simply burned on the spot, only about 100 of us were lucky to have not been caught in the brunt of the fire."

"That... why did they want to exterminate you in the first place?" Riza was astounded by the story. It was a true living nightmare.

"We had been at war for several years; I guess they just decided to end it once and for all when they called in the state alchemists. We never did anything wrong, we had never been involved we were completely innocent. The one who burned down out town and many others was known as the flame alchemist. Just saying those words brings my blood to a boil."

Alchemy. Alchemists. She remembered this art, in which you manipulate and alter matter using natural energy. "You're saying this alchemist could control flames? He set you're town aflame in one instant?" That was hard to believe, how could one person control something so devastatingly powerful?

"Josei is the only one who has seen him face to face so I can't tell you for sure, but we know he was responsible for many of the deaths during the extermination. Our town was not the only one that was burned to the ground by the likes of him."

"I'm really sorry about what happened to you guys. I really can't imagine how much you suffered." Riza didn't know what to feel, heartache for all the ones they lose, or anger towards the military for committing these sins.

Sabrina's anger slightly subsided. "Now you know why we absolutely hate the Amestrian military. Recently they have come back trying to rebuild what they destroyed, but we're not going to fall for that trick. We know their true intentions and we will never allow them to march back into our homeland and try to tell us to forgive them for everything they did. Nothing is going to be enough to ever forgive them. They are all monsters."

Riza couldn't agree more. With everything she had heard she was certain on where she stood. The military could not be trusted.

They were all monsters.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

Today marked exactly one month since Riza Hawkeye went missing.

At first things had almost took a positive turn when they realized that she was not confirmed dead, still MIA. Her body had never been recovered, so the likelihood of her survival was quite high. However, the days passed by and there was not a trace of Riza Hawkeye. No more clues were found of her whereabouts. The search efforts died down, as most were convinced that if she were alive she would have come back by now. Roy knew that it was impossible that she would still be alive and well and would have not come back to headquarters. To even think that Hawkeye would not return was crazy; she would follow him into hell. Unfortunately, this made him think of the worst possibility; she couldn't come back because she was really gone.

Things had been moving rather solemnly in the office of Mustang, recovery efforts sauntered along at a decent pace but everyone could tell that his heart was not in it. He gave out orders, he carried out all of his tasks but there was no longer that passion that commanded his every move. The restoration efforts had been something that he had been so motivated about before, but now it seemed like nothing mattered. His men have not said anything outright but he knew that he had been a miserable person to be around for the past month. Every morning he would try to be optimistic but when the bad news kept crashing down on him over and over it was hard to keep the spirits up.

It was almost funny how he did all of his paperwork like clockwork now that Riza was out of the office, perhaps he just liked to procrastinate to get a reaction out of her. At least the paperwork kept his mind busy so that it wouldn't wander to images of her face, her hair, her touch, her legs, her smile, her everything. He couldn't even imagine the day when they officially declared her dead due to prolonged absence; he would have sit through her _funeral. _Just the words in his mind made him sick. He always imagined that he would be the one to leave her first, not any time soon but he was sure that she would be the one to outlive him. He believed this so much that he never imagined living a life without her. He had made the same mistake with Hughes, his death still left quite a scar on his soul but he at least had Hawkeye to help pick him back up. Now that she was gone he felt so alone, his subordinates and the rest of the people in his life could compare to significance those two individuals held.

He still kept her ring in his jacket right next to his heart. He tried to make himself believe that as long as he held onto it there was still hope that she would return to him. He didn't care if everyone else had lost hope, he had always been a fool who thought he could change the country, a fool who put too much faith in others, and a fool that couldn't accept his feelings for Riza until it was too late.

* * *

That night, he had a dream. He couldn't even remember that last time he had a dream; since he was young his nights were filled with nightmares and he had grown accustomed to such terrors that this fantasy took him by surprise.

He and Riza were older but he recognized that they were still in the village that she had grown up in. She sat on the porch of a house which strongly resembled her father's except it had a completely different vibe. The lawn was well kept instead of overgrown with weeds, the house itself was in perfect condition, it looked like it had a fresh coat of paint and it was completely full of life. The garden was full of all sorts of flowers that lined a walkway to the front door. He started down the path to reach her; she was reading a book and smiled as she saw him approach. She took his hand and motioned for him to sit beside her. Her head fell onto his shoulder and she sighed in peace. It was the life she had always dreamed of, a life without the military. Her wedding ring glistened in the sun as he took notice of his own ring. He never imagined a life like this, he was filled with utter joy, a feeling that he had never experienced before. It felt as if the world had been lifted off his shoulders, without the military he hadn't a care in the world except for taking care of his beautiful wife. He had no dreams to accomplish, in this life all he had ever wanted was already true.

He heard the scampering of small feet coming towards him as he looked down and was met with the face of a young child. He looked almost exactly like a mini version of himself, dark hair, ivory skin, and jet black eyes. He smiled before holding out a handful of flowers to him.

"Dad, I picked these flowers for mom."

"They're beautiful, I'm sure she'd love them." Roy replied.

"Do you really think so dad?"

"Of course, why don't you ask her yourself?"

"I can't."

He was going to ask why but he realized while he was talking he hadn't noticed the warmth suddenly gone from his shoulder. His lady was no longer there, or anywhere. The house looked ragged and worn, worse than its original state he remembered from the past. The lawn was nonexistent, the flowers had vanished, and all that was left was dirt. In front of the house lay one attraction, a gravestone. The words engraved in it made his stomach drop and his chest churn.

_In memory of_

**_Riza Mustang_**

_I have lost my soul's companion  
A life linked with my own  
And day by day I miss her more  
As I walk through life alone._

He awoke abruptly and had to catch his breath he was so riled up. He had been so silly, to think that he would actually have a gratifying dream. The only dreams he had existed in the real world, after hours he was only visited by demons.

* * *

**A/N: I didn't write the little poem on Riza's grave, I just got it off a website where they have a bunch of generic tombstone messages but I thought it fit nicely. Couldn't find a real source on it... it's just listed on a bunch of websites. Also sorry this took super long to get out, I was writing ****_Lushed_**** over the holidays and I wasn't sure what was happening with this chapter. I'll try and get the next one out in a timely fashion.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

It felt nice to be moving again.

After a month of being practically bed-ridden she was officially okay to move about freely. Other than the apparent memory loss, her condition had miraculously healed quite a bit in such a short period of time. Riza felt much better not being taken care of like she was an infant. She was lucky that she was mobile enough that she insisted to change her clothes and wipe her body down herself; the thought of others doing such intimate things mortified her.

Many villagers heard of the Amestrian amnesiac and had made their rounds to take a gander at her. She was expecting them to be a lot more hostile, after how she was treated by that one man, but for the most part they sympathized with her condition and wished her well in her recovery efforts. They couldn't criticize her background as she couldn't remember anything, so their opinions based solely on her image as a patient in that moment they had no reason to hold any sort of grudges, she assumed. The people here were all quite peaceful, they had no desire for violence and she would say they were the most pleasant people she had ever met, if she had anyone to compare them to.

The encampment ran very simply, everyone had some sort of lodgings, mainly large tents as she learned that they often relocated due to weather or approaching threats. Sabrina had told her that they tried to keep the real world out because it was a violent place that only looks down upon her people. It was hard to believe that anyone would want to harm such a peaceful group of people, all these measures she decided would not have been taken if there not a good reason for doing so.

She was only really close with Sabrina, as she had been the one taking care of her for the most part, and of course the little girl named Amerie who seemed to be rather attached to her since she arrived. She thought it was kind of cute, so she didn't mind. Sabrina's husband and ruler of the camp Josei she hadn't seen much since they found the new grounds, she decided he wasn't very fond of her and she wasn't his biggest fan either. The last person she had met was Amerie's grandmother, affectionately referred to as 'Nana', her real name was Cora and she was simply a quiet elderly woman who was often overwhelmed by her granddaughter's enthusiasm.

"Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth?" The little girl poked her head into her tent.

"Hey, there, what are you up to?" She smiled, this girl was trouble sometimes but she was still a sweetheart.

"Nana told me to bring you this, since you can move around now. She said you need to get out of those sick clothes and into some normal ones so that you're presentable." She held out a long dress to her, similar to the ones most of the ladies wore around camp.

"It's beautiful. She made it didn't she?"

"Yes, she said it would fit you."

"Thank you, tell Cora thank you as well. I'll put it on later."

"No, put it on now! I want to see!" she pleaded.

"I hope you're not badgering poor Elizabeth again Amerie." Sabrina said as she waltzed into the tent carrying a basket of supplies.

"No, Nana made a dress for her and I told her to change out of her sick clothes and put it on, I bet she would look nice in a dress."

"Hmm, I guess you should try it on before the little one blows a fuse then." Sabrina conceded.

Riza took the dress and stared at them, they had been treating her for the past month but for some reason she felt the shyness well up inside of her at the thought of changing in front of them. "Um, right here?" She asked.

"What's the matter, we're all females here no need to be shy." Sabrina replied.

She was right of course, she was being childish. She turned her back to them and started to slide her old clothes off.

"What's that on your back?" Amerie suddenly asked.

Her top hit the ground and she stood in her bra and pants. "What's what?"

"It's a tattoo," Sabrina's voice had an edge to it. "It looks like an alchemic array."

What were they talking about, a tattoo? She didn't think she would have ever gotten a tattoo; she had no desire for one. And also, an alchemic tattoo, had she been an alchemist? It didn't make any sense. "Are you sure it's a tattoo?"

"Can you tell me that you honestly that you don't know the origin of this marking?" Sabrina asked firmly.

"I really have no idea." She was trying to glance over at her back but she could barely see anything from her angle. Sabrina asked Amerie to fetch a reflective surface so that she could have a look. If she didn't believe them before she believed them now. An intricate pattern was carved over her back in red but she didn't know what any of the markings meant, and all the words seemed to be in a foreign language.

"Listen, you mustn't show or speak of this to anyone. These teachings oppose Ishvala; you would become an enemy if anyone found out about your connections to this." Sabrina said.

"Do you know what it means?"

"I do not have much knowledge of these types of things, my husband knows more things but I don't recommend you show him. I would suggest you keep this to yourself and not think too much of it if you can't remember."

"Most of it seems to be illegible anyways; it's covered by a huge scar." She noted. "Where could I have gotten something like that?"

"I know these scars Elizabeth, these are burn marks."

"Burn marks? Are you saying that I got burned? "

"I've seen these types of scars too many times not to be sure. Many of the villagers have similar ones."

"I don't understand, does this mean that I was attacked by the flames as well?"

"I don't know what happened, but these scars happened for a reason. I would say that you ending up here has been no mistake, God has brought you here because you are one of us. These markings tell your fate." Sabrina said thoughtfully.

"That I was destined to arrive here?"

"That you belong here."

* * *

Riza decided that in her former life she was not much of a dress person. The fabric draped over her body felt wrong in so many ways; even though Amerie did say she pulled the look off quite well. She hadn't seen a single female wearing pants as of yet, so she decided that if she wanted to fit in she would have to get used to the attire.

Speaking of the little girl, she was currently dragging her towards her tent so that her grandmother could see how well the clothes fit. After the discussion of her tattoo Amerie promised not to say a word to anyone and promptly went at her to continue putting on the dress.

They arrived and she was met with Cora once more and the elderly woman looked over her figure with her heavily lidded eyes. "I see the dress fit perfectly, I didn't misjudge your figure; you're much more slender than you would think at first glance."

"Thank you very much for the dress, it's wonderful."

"Now that I know your size I'll make a couple more. A lady can't only have one dress to wear around."

"Thank you for your generosity, I hope it won't be too much trouble. Perhaps I can help?"

"Nonsense, I'm rather proficient on my own. Consider it a welcome gift to our village. You do plan on staying, don't you?"

"Of course, I have nowhere else to go; it would be foolish to leave the comfort of this village. I've grown attached to you guys as well; I hope you guys don't think I'm a burden."

"You are too modest. In a small village like this we are always ready to expand." She took another once over and turned to Amerie.

"Do you sense her aura Amerie, isn't she _glowing_?"

"Nana yes, she's radiant, stunning, glowing!" Amerie happily replied.

Riza blushed; she wasn't sure what these people saw in her. She thought she was rather plain, it must've been her exotic looks compared to the others that made her stand out.

"No my dear, she does look exquisite but she is _glowing_. I can sense it." Cora nudged the little girl.

"_Glowing_? No Nana, she can't be! Don't be-"She realized she must've replied too loudly and turned around as Riza stared at her. "Ignore Nana; she's old and crazy sometimes."

"Hmph, don't think so lowly of me child. Anyways Miss Elizabeth, would you like something to eat?"

Riza almost yelled out in approval, since she had been recovering all she had eaten was some sort of tasteless broth that was supposedly full of nutrients and was going help her recuperate. She was sure if she ever saw that stuff again she would not hesitate to fling it onto the streets she was so sick of it. She craved solid food with her entire being. "If you don't mind, I would love something."

"We haven't had time to do much harvesting since we got here but we have a bunch of stores of food from before the move." She rustled into the back of her tent and came back with a basket in hand. "See, these are potatoes! We can't grow many things in the Ishvalan regions but these seem to be the most common, we have a whole bunch of them!"

"Oh my, thank you so much!" She immediately grabbed a potato off the top and started to much away at in contently. _This is so good, _she thought. Solid food must've been God's gift to Earth, and potatoes were the finest delicacy of all.

"Umm, Miss Elizabeth?" Amerie squeaked.

_Absolutely divine, the texture, the moistness, the flavour, the-_

"Miss Elizabeth!"

"Huh?" Riza suddenly disrupted from her reverie of devouring the potato.

"We, um, usually cook those before we eat them."

"Oh, right, sorry. Guess I was hungrier than I thought."

"No, I mean, if you like them raw that should be fine. We can ask Sabrina if they're okay to eat like that."

Riza felt stupid now, had her appetite really been that bad that she leaped at the raw potatoes? She discreetly grabbed another before she saw Cora give her granddaughter an amused look and leave the tent to start a fire for cooking.

* * *

The next morning she decided that maybe those raw potatoes were a bad idea.

She found herself running to the hole in the ground that they considered a toilet and spilling all of the contents of her stomach from the night before. She felt dizzy when she tried to stand up again and her body was telling her she needed to throw up again but she was sure her stomach was already completely empty so she just gagged a couple of times. She needed to see Sabrina now, something was wrong.

After wobbling towards Sabrina's tent, she wasn't sure how to knock on a tent so she tried to peer in but ended up losing her balance and side stepping right in. Her head shot back up and she starting seeing black spots in her vision and she felt so light headed the world started spinning.

She wasn't sure what happened next but she found herself back in her bed about ten minutes later, Sabrina and Cora by her bedside. She must've blacked out, right on the floor of her tent, _ugh._ What did they put in those potatoes?

Sabrina noticed that she had stirred and motioned for her to keep lying down. "Are you feeling any better, I was shocked when I saw you passed out in my own home."

"Potatoes, I ate raw potatoes yesterday." Riza croaked.

"That's okay; those potatoes aren't dangerous to be eaten raw. They can't do any harm."

That's strange, had she picked up some sort of horrendous bug? Feeling like this was not normal. "Is it from my prior injuries? Do I have a bug?"

"It's definitely not from any earlier injuries; those have all healed rather well. While you were passed out I examined you a little and took note of your symptoms. Cora also seems to know what the problem is."

"Don't worry, you are not sick." Cora reaffirmed.

Not sick, how could she say I was not sick? She felt slightly better but she was afraid if she tried to sit up the world would spiral out of control again. "Are, you sure? Then what's the issue?"

Sabrina looked visibly uncomfortable all of a sudden. Her face couldn't decide whether to smile or to stay emotionless. She placed a hand on Riza's and finally ground herself and looked her in the eye.

"You're pregnant."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

Two months after Riza disappeared they refused to keep anyone out there looking for her, and Roy was furious.

"What do you mean the search has been called off completely?" Roy asked Fuery after he had delivered the news.

Fuery quivered slightly and swallowed down a lump in his throat before answering, "Without any leads sir, there is no point in continuing on with the search, is what they told me. All areas have been searched twice now and there is nothing pointing to a possible lead on her location."

"Well, they're obviously not trying hard enough. What if someone kidnapped her, or she is badly injured, or... I told you to tell them that they have orders from General Mustang to continue the search."

"They said unless you have some sort of plan of action yourself they're not going to be wasting time looking for someone who doesn't want to be f-found." The look is Roy's eyes made him regret saying that, even though it was truthfully what he had been told.

"Did you tell them it was an order?This is completely outrageous! They can't do this!"

Fuery simply stared at him wide eyed before bowing his head in shame.

"Hey, it's not his fault, don't yell at Fuery." Breda piped up from desk to the side.

"_How dare they say she doesn't want to be found? _Those bastards! I might have to go down there and speak with them myself." Hawkeye would never willingly abandon her team; they knew nothing about the bonds they shared.

"Listen boss, they have a point. They would be more useful here than out there searching aimlessly." Breda tried to calm Mustang down.

"They're giving up! And you're siding with them as well, have you given up as well?"

"I never said that. I'm just saying we need to focus on our work on the restoration first, that's what Hawkeye would've wanted."

"Are you trying to tell me you're an expert? You know exactly what she thinks on a daily basis?"

"You're letting your emotions get ahead of you, just calm down. We're all worried, but we're trying to stay calm because we know she's still out there. We're all hurting not having her around, it's not just you."

"I know that, but you're ready to abandon the search?"

"There are no leads, we could search the whole country and there'd still be a chance she's not even here anymore."

"No! We're not going to find her if we're not looking! Damn it! "

"Sir, you need to stop."

Roy slammed his fist on his desk and stood up before giving Fuery and Breda a deathly glare. "Get out."

Breda was immediately confused, "General what do you—"

"I said _get out_. That's an order."

Fuery decided it was in his best interest to leave immediately but Breda wanted to stay out of spite until he caught a glimpse of the anguish on Roy's face in that moment and decided to give him some space.

Roy leaned his head against his hands and groaned aloud. He immediately regretted saying what he had. He was just so tense he couldn't handle it anymore; part of him wanted to do was crawl under his desk and pretend that Riza was safe in his arms and the other wanted to scream and burn his entire office down to the ground. His dreams that were once crystal clear in his mind were now foggy and distant. He questioned himself on a daily basis, why he had worked so hard to get to this point in the first place. He had always thought his dreams for this country were his first priority but now it was the last thing on his mind.

He put his head down on the desk and closed his eyes, it was happening again. The feelings were swallowing him whole; he sunk into oblivion once more.

* * *

The first thing he thought when he opened his eyes again was _damn. _The IV was stuck into his arm and he was staring up into the infirmary ceilings once more.

"So, you finally woke up."

Roy hadn't noticed Havoc sitting in the room with him.

"How long have you been here Havoc?"

"Four hours, that's when we brought you in after we found you passed out at your desk." His voice was calm but there was something there that indicated he wasn't in a good mood.

"Oh, I'm sorry; you really didn't have to stay." Roy tried to avert his eyes from Havoc's but he could still feel his glare burning holes in the side of his neck.

"You're sorry? That's all you have to say? This is the second time you've been here since the whole Hawkeye situation."

"What do you want me to say? That I'm not upset over my... adjutant's disappearance?"

"Cut the crap boss, we all know she means much more to you then you would like anyone to know but it's Hawkeye that's missing, it shouldn't feel like we're missing two people."

Roy finally got the nerve to look back up at Havoc face. "You have no idea how I feel."

"I'm not trying to say that I do, not in the least. What I'm trying to ask is are you feeling anything at all? These past two months the man that has been ordering me around has not been General Mustang, that's for sure. The Mustang I knew was almost overly passionate about his dream for this country, everyone could see the fire in his eyes with every move he made and he continued on even when it seemed like everything was lost. That's not the man who's sitting before me right now."

Roy mused over his words carefully, the truth really stung. Even now he was trying to come up with a response that would counteract his statement but all he could do was agree. "I haven't forgotten about my dream, if that's what you're implying. It just doesn't feel as important anymore."

Havoc bowed his head slightly and his breath caught. "Have you given up? You can't give up just because Hawkeye is gone. She always said she wanted a future where everyone could live in happiness, and that's what you were trying to accomplish as well right?"

"I had always pictured it in my mind, me standing at the top of this country and Riza right there by my side. Imagining myself succeeding without her is just surreal. I hadn't consciously realized it but she had always been a part of my dream as well. She believed in equivalent exchange, we gave up our ideal life to benefit others. In reality I wanted her to be happy as well, but now that I can never accomplish that my dream just feels so hollow. I'm not saying in the least that I don't care about the future of Amestris anymore it's just..."

"Hawkeye is more important." Havoc finished.

Roy ducked his head down instead of responding properly.

"Permission to speak freely sir?"

Roy nodded once, head still bowed.

"You're pathetic."

This made Roy's head shoot back up and once again his eyes met Havoc's.

"If you're going to crumble after everything _we_ have been through, not just you but everything that all of us on your team has sacrificed for you because we believed so strongly in your dreams then you have no right to be quitting when we're this close."

"What are—"

"Please sir just shut up for a moment. Breda was always vying for you, on the promised day he made sure the entire population was on your side through what he said through the radio. If it weren't for him the people would still think that we were the bad guys. Fuery was sent to the warfront in Aerugo, the poor kid was surrounded by death at all times but he managed to fight through and make it out alive because he knew he had a role to play in the Promised day and that you needed him to be there. Falman was ready to die on the Promised day rather than give up his loyalty to you after he was threatened by King Bradley and had no chance of surviving if he had attacked."

Havoc reached out and grabbed Mustang by the shirt pulling his face as close to him as he could. "You were the one who told me to meet you at the top. I was sitting in a hospital bed just like you are now and my legs were gone, I thought I had no chance. It's because of you I'm here today. Look! I'm walking on my own two legs again, I revoked my retirement from the military, I'm ready to continue you to follow you to the top but suddenly you're ready to give all of that up? I was sure I was never going to be able to walk again and still you never gave up on me, and that's why no matter what happens I'm not giving up on you."

Havoc was breathing so heavily he had to take a moment to catch his breath and lower Mustang back down onto his bed.

Roy was beside himself with grief, he was being so selfish over Riza he hadn't realized that he had lost sight of his goal completely. "I'm so sorry, tell everyone I'm sorry." He spoke in a tone lower than a whisper. Mustang hoped Havoc would ignore the crack in his voice.

"I remember I told Hawkeye that you were a fool for not giving up on a disabled man like me. She told me that this country needs a fool like you. I think I finally realize what she meant by that."

Roy sighed, still shaken from Havoc's words but the importance of them had hit him like a canon. "Do you think she's still out there?

"Sir, as long as you haven't given up on her I'm not giving up on her anytime soon."

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the lack of updates but school started again and It's really out a dent in my writing schedule. I also wanted to answer something someone asked, it was if Hayate could just sniff Riza out and find her easily. I'm going to be honest, for some reason this never even crossed my mind, but I'm not sure if this will appease you but I would think Hayate would only be able to find the cliff location where she fell, after she was taken by the Ishvalans the ground they covered was too large and masked for it to be picked up anymore, so in the end we would've had the same result? Anywho that's just what I was thinking, my bad for not even thinking of it in the first place! I wish all of those who went back to school an awesome second semester!**


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